We’ve always wanted to go to Subsix, the club in the Indian Ocean that’s only accessible by speedboat, but getting there requires an ocean-sized bank account. We’ve been to nautical-themed dive bars and dive shops that double as bars, but they just don’t take it far enough. We want to create a truly accessible underwater bar for the masses—peak dive, if you will—but without large amounts of water or marine life (that stuff’s too complicated to bring indoors).
The bartenders would be required to wear wetsuits and snorkel masks. The soundtrack would only have whale sounds and bubble noises. On Wednesdays, we’d show reruns of Shark Week and Blue Planet. On Thursdays, a cabaret singer would dress up as Ursula from The Little Mermaid and perform Poor Unfortunate Souls. And on Fridays from 5-5:30, we’d challenge patrons to our signature drinking game: Underwater Tea Party. All the drinks are served in porcelain cups, and you can only communicate with hand motions. You talk, you chug. Up next? A rooftop bar that’s not actually on a rooftop.